September 2020

Development of your situation at home 

I had the opportunity to move out of home and into a student apartment next to campus. Kulu Manzi offered to finance it for the next two months until exams are over. But as you know, my biggest problem at home is that sometimes my brothers, who are on drugs and are known gangsters, take over our house completely and have no disregard for us. It has always been this way. Because I always feel I need to be there for my dad, I decided to decline the offer to move out. I stayed at home, although I didn’t know what was about to happen. I can personally see now that no one in my family is going to help me fight for my dreams and that hurts. It hurts a lot and really angers me, because my whole life was about pleasing my family and when I needed their support they made my life a living hell instead of helping me make it better. 

What were the consequences of not moving out of home? 

Because I didn’t move out, my tablet got stolen. My brothers took and sold it. Since I don’t have a computer, it was the only way to attend online classes. Although I tried my best to still be in class even with technical difficulties, I wasn’t able to fully engage in class and activities. So, in the end I failed one of the courses due to not being able to attend. I have to repeat the module next year if I want to continue studying and do my Master’s degree. It is really sad but that is the reality I am facing now. The future looks so uncertain now. 

I also lost my job at university as a result of losing my tablet. I was so caught up in managing the loss that I didn’t show up for work. My tablet also had very sensitive documents on it. 

The saddest part is the pleasure my brothers get from doing all these things to me. I lost everything, my motivation to complete assignments, to complete other work and I can’t eat or sleep properly. I am finding this very hard to accept. I also can’t find pleasure and happiness in the small things anymore like I used to. I don’t even want to talk to anyone in my household anymore, because I still can’t get over what happened and how much it has affected me, my future and my life. It feels as if my entire life went down the drain.

Achievements at university and key learnings

I haven’t achieved anything at university other than to get myself failed. Key learning is how to develop policies. We also did public economies, health development, leadership culture and diversity as well as research.

Your view on the upcoming assignments, end-of-term exams and the end of the diploma 

Personally, I am not looking forward to the exams as I normally would have, nor do I even feel motivated to finish assignments that are due soon, because the module I failed already threw my whole plan out of motion. To know that I am failing my course hurts, it really does.

Social projects: How was the online course with Play Handball? What are your thoughts on the organization and what kind of tasks would you like to take on within the cooperation?

I haven’t done much social projects this month as I was too busy with my diploma course for sport and development. I was offered to take part in an online webinar about coaching during the pandemic by Play Handball. They have been a partner of Kulu Manzi for a long time and the plan was to support them in their activities to give something back to Kulu Manzi this way. The handball course was great although I couldn’t really engage due to technical issues which affected my audio. I would definitely like to do more and be involved in the handball family.

How is the Corona situation at the moment and how did the measures change?

We are actually in level 1 now which is not too different from level 2, although most sectors of the country are open now. Somehow, I wish it could have been this way earlier and classes could have been done face to face instead of online. This would have taken all these issues I am facing now away. Measures are still in place for example keeping a safe social distance, regular washing and sanitizing of hands as well as always wearing mask when going into public places.